Could we with ink the ocean fill,

And were the skies of parchment made,

Were every stalk on earth a quill,

And every man a scribe by trade,

To write the love of God above,

Would drain the ocean dry.

Nor could the scroll contain the whole,

Though stretched from sky to sky.

- Verse from "The Love of God",

Frederick M. Lehman

typeface

I realized something today. I think a portion of my aversion to e-journalling .....I am displeased with the lack of aesthetics in the typeface.

I thought about this for a moment...seeing as it struck me surprising. It's not a make or break ingredient to the salad. I understand this is more of a crouton, right? Well, Its a sneaky little crouton with a lot of zest that I never had let settle on my tastebuds long enough to see why....I am, well I am certainly not faithful in this endeavor. I think I wrote last time about this very subject. :)... well it's a good thing I am not being too hard on myself. I do understand that I certainly have the permissibility of playing with the typeface and manipulating the aesthetics in order to create an image that is self-satisfying to portray for others.

The thing that I came to pretty quickly was this: I don't have enough desire. Im sorry if that's too forward, or if that disappoints some. It's not that I don't care to provide updates for those who are truly interested. ....I suppose that I would love to update ....well, YOU. personally. you know, using your name.

And really, the only image I would like to cultivate is that which I'm breathing in of Jesus Christ.
check out colossians 1:15.
and go ahead and read the next 5 verses since you're there.....:)

For those of you who would like an actual update, I have nothing but wonderful things to share. This is because God has made grace abound to me in every way so that in all things I may abound to you. It's crazy to relate to someone's writings who wrote nothing short of thousands of years ago. Breathtaking.
---it was Paul in 2 Cor 9:8 ...you might as well read the next couple of verses there too. they're rich.

What I've resolved to do, is begin posting things that have recently occurred to me. ---unelaborated upon. simple and plain.

If you're reading this, then chances are you know me personally, at least in some level.

If you know even the thinnest layer of who I am it probably won't surprise you when you hear me say that each and every one of the 'things that have occurred to me lately' .....most definately have a followup, and a journey from which each of these little epiphanies.....which are usually just 'small bits of more information' unveiled about certain things.

some things have perplexed me for years.
Some things i did not even realize I had never come to even this point of why I am the way i am, or why God is the way He is, or why people are the way they are.

Don't get too excited. these are certainly not: terminated thoughts. They are merely 'trail markers' in the measure of my understanding. So please don't take anything i will post to be Truth in it's entirety....but perhaps rather an attempt to convey more of His image.

heck, they may not be Truth at all. :) that's where I'd love your feedback. I'd love to know if you think Im off my rocker, or if you can identify with some of the things that are being more and more unveiled in my life.

I like sharing things I find valuable. This is a quality I admire in Christ. Maybe that's why I value it so much. So let me know what you think. I'd actually prefer if you sent me your thoughts in another avenue....snail mail happens to be sweetest on my personal tastebuds, but even email would suffice. I just like the personal aspect involved in communication....no i love it, ha.

So it's not going to hurt my feelings if you disagree with the way I may view something. I am trying just like everyone else to understand more about what is important in this world as anyone else....and even understand more about what is WORTH trying to understand, and learn of. What I've found so far, is that it's not so much a 'what' as it is a 'who' that carries the most weight in worthiness to tap into.

That and....Truth smashed to the ground will rise. and Lies fall and die never to resurrect. So i'm not necessarily afraid of an opinion to challenge my own. best case scenario, I could be wrong, and then corrected by the ressurection of Truth. And you would've helped me to come to that :)

So for today:

I've realized that....a rather surprising element to why I am not drawn to e-writing.....the typeface, the characters...are almost fibbing. they lack a measure of....well, character.

That's not to say Im against typeface. I am truly thankful for it's existence. I am simply not smitten with it, which is okay :)


Nells

for you, im sorry: I am Well. :) This is true because the Lord is GOOD, and He gives only good. I'll post more about this at a later date, as it is something that He has been teaching me about in adventurously romantic ways for a little while now, but very much currently. I have felt many different things about Dallas. Thankful. Disgusted. Hopeful. Disappointed. and...peaceful. ---Which is 100% testimony of the Lord's Hand in orchestration here. press into what is important y'all. -N

learning

learning has been the title of my life, so i suppose that it is not inappropriate here. It will be, should I begin to title everything with "learning," though.

This post is in response to a handful of you who have asked me why I stopped blogging back in September. This was also when I began blogging. The answer to this is manifold, and admittedly may not satiate your inquiry even when attempted to be typed out, but I will attempt:

I....am "a pen and paper kind of girl" as told to me once by one of my very best friends. That being said, I have nothing against digital journals---its just that my hands naturally gravitate to the most current leatherbound I have laying on my desk, rather than my keyboard.

This has been contested with my desires to accommodate and include all of you in my thoughts and whereabouts. I suppose a mixture of: intimidation upon having many sets of eyes upon my life, combined with: a lack of desire to include the whole world into my thoughts....has brought me to this understanding:

If I am going to write posts, I will need to change the style of my writing. Its nothing against you, dear reader, and most likely very good friend of mine,...

but....here's the nitty gritty:
I have written with so much freedom, ever since I was 14, and especially when I began as a freshman at A&M, onto now. there are things that come out of me when I write that I would not have but only 2 very specific people see. One of those, I know personally, and am attempting to know more and more each day. the other...well i dont believe i know yet.

So....it can be done, and in fact I would so much have it as to make it a goal of mine. But until I can coherently put my thoughts together in such a way as to not expose myself in a degree deemed...inapropriate for "anyone" to see, I have counted it a wise decision to keep....my most fluid thoughts protected in my shelf of journals.

Im working on it though, because I believe that the things the Lord gives us, He gives us to share. We were meant to receive, and then overflow. I will be working on that for the sake of those of you who have requested this

Perhaps you will find a new post here when I can either: simply not contain any longer a Truth unveiled and must put words to it for anyone to see....like the gospel....or in my case is usually something in life that directly reminds me of the gospel.....

or....as I begin to learn how to shift the "who" I am writing to.


Merry Christmas to you all

Love,
Nell

Our deepest fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I -- to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -Nelson Mandela

This is for a good friend of mine, whom I count as one of my most precious treasures in heaven.

It is in response to, 1st.... life as of late;

and 2nd....a quote in which she gave to me years ago which has a bit of a familiar aftertaste to this one.

Here's to you beautiful Emily...hope you keep creating :)

Light, is like our translator. It is what our eyes need in order to make sense of reality. Reality is of course in accordance with what what is True, or, Truth.

It's not that light creates Truth; it merely makes it, even if minimally, ...understandable in some Authored capacity, to our eyes, or our perspectives.

If I am driving down a pitch black road in the middle of the night with no lights on, I am in trouble. Not because there is no road, or way, for me to go along, but because I need the light to see the way, and stay on the road. If I have only my low beams on, then I can get by. There is enough light in enough black, to distinguish right from left, or right from wrong, or my lane from a mailbox. But I mean if the engineer designed high beams to be of use to the vehicle, by all means we should use those puppies when they are of good utility. (otherwise, they are merely wasted potential, the most despised of all things.) If you are in a pitch black place, you need as much light as your vehicle can muster up.

But, just because your beams bring light to hover over a certain area of space and you can now see it, doesn't mean that the light is what created the reality. It merely translated the Truth into your understanding. (And your understanding is still laughably tiny compared to the vastness of all reality in existence.)

The light merely translated Truth into your understanding.

It was like the pitcher that poured 8 oz of seawater unto your 8 oz cup.....therefore filling your cup to fullness and satisfaction yet not even hitting on the fringes of how much liquid Truth fills the ocean.

You can now see the mailbox, so naturally you will maneuver so that you do not crash into it. You did not, however, create a mailbox by pointing your car in its direction and then noticing one. It did not just suddenly "pop up" because you discovered it. Truth already exists. it always has, and it never changes. Its the same reason why history is already written. history is all of the past, present, and future, in one story...His Story. And it was written before Adam breathed his first. Truth already exists. Light simply allows us to see it. It gives us access to the already existing (and eternally existing) life, it doesn't create life. But in one side of the paradox, it does create life to us. It gives us access to the life. And the access itself could be understood as the life. So in essence, the light IS the life, and it gives us access to the life. Kind of like how Jesus is both the way to the Father, and he is one with the Father himself.

It merely shows us the way: from our understanding....to....the Creator of life

He himself wasnt the light. he was merely a testament to the light. the true light, that gives life to all men, was coming into the world.

That's exactly who Jesus was. He still is in fact our translator, our light. He was. He is. He will be, forever. See because His existence, is not bound to time. (which is broken up into past, present, and future....along with millions of little micro measurements of it as well) and see...we are. we are bound to time.

The eye is the lamp of the body. if your eyes are good then your whole body will be full of light. but if your eyes are bad, then your whole body will be full of darkness. if then, the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness? -Jesus, in Matt6

So...this is it

This is it guys. I am going to attempt to set up a blog, but am not quite sure how this will go. I will ask for your patience and your forgiveness should I not remain faithful in updating posts. This season of my life.....well, if you'll just look at the picture you may get a greater understanding at where I am going.

I know, I don't know either....but I am so excited!



love,

nel